4/28/2005
haix haix haix.i think i'm going to sigh all day.really,wat kind of a mess have i gotten myself into??will i ever be able to untangle myself??!!hmm.it turns out he did sms me yesterday.jus that i didnt check.asking me how was exam.well,i know i told the who(dun wanna mention names here) tt i've decided to concentrate on my studies..but then.you dun say give up,and u really give up.why.....i tot he would leave me alone.i tot.obviously i'm wrong.
i'm so sick.not the real sick lah.i jus feel sick.i think all i need is a listening ear.that'd be wat i need desperately now.i think i'm going crazy.driven crazy by him.why is everything linked to him?!!i'm so fed-up!!him this,him that.it's no wonder tt now even dad starts 'teasing' me.the teasing is not really pleasant ok.it's bad.really bad.
haix.i'm really really tired.how i wish i can jus fall into a deep slumber forever,leaving this dark dark world.i'd leave everything behind.everything.
nowadays anything can make me cry.even staring into space,jus listening to some music can bring the tears to my eyes.i guess everything is threatening to spill out.jus that i dun allow them to.why??why do i still force myself to keep everything inside when i'm already so tortured?although the tears may surface,i dun think they'll ever get out.i'm used...used to keeping everything inside me.since how along ago was the last heart-to-heart talk i had with someone close?i seriously dun remember.
now the prob is,should i jus leave?leave him once and forever..let fate decide if we'll ever meet again.one fren told me tt it was fate which brought us together.after all,the world is so vast,how on earth did his contact end up in my msn?i really dunno.i'm too tired.too tired to think so much.i really feel like sleeping forever.i think i need someone.someone to talk to...to understand me..to help make me feel better.mayb even heal my bleeding heart. )= why must he do this to me??why me...why.i want the life i had before 'fate brought us together'..the innocent,happy days when i was jus my true self.i dun think i can hold this happy front of mine any longer....the facade is faltering...
with loves; hugxkeiko
4/28/2005 04:15:00 PM
